***SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER ~ ABOUT LOSS,GRIEF & CANCER***
Hi! there Everyone...Feels like it's been so long since I've been here...Well...Kinda...I've been here lurking around quietly...Checking things out in the background...It's been awhile since I have posted a layout for sure...My life has been filled with so many challenges...Scrapping about just 1 would be difficult to say the least...But the worst thing I'm going through now...[as some of you may know...already...]..I am MIA due to the sudden loss of my Beloved Husband,Ray...due to cancer...He was diagnosed too late to be saved...With the cancer already affecting his heart down to only 20% function...He had a fall at our apartment & was in considerable pain...so I called the ambulance...Only 9 days later...he passed away from Stage 4 Throat Cancer that had spread to his brain...They told me he didn't have much time left....only 2 days after his arrival at the hospital...I couldn't believe what I was hearing...Was this a mistake...no!...There wasn't any cancer in his family either...Raymond spent his last days in Palliative care in hospice...I didn't want him to suffer anymore...so I made the difficult decision to do so...
I was there each & every day & night...sitting in a wheelchair...talking to him,holding his hand...praying with him...singing to him...I'm still recovering from my broken neck & arm...and with permanent neuropathy in my legs & feet from my fall...I am in much pain on a daily basis...My beloved Ray...Took care of me,with such love & kindness...when I couldn't even wash my own hair or do anything...I did the same for him...& I would gladly do it all again...if only I could have him back here with me...I miss him so much...It sometimes makes my whole body,spirit,brain...physically ache...I just spent my first birthday without my Beloved Ray...Thankfully...my family rallied around me...and tried their best to make my birthday special...I will remember all that they did for me...for the rest of my life...I wouldn't have made it through that day without them...When I blew out my Birthday candles...I talked to my Ray...& said I LOVE! you...& wish you were here & told him how much I missed him...He is the reason I made it this far in my own recovery...He was the kindest,sweetest & funniest person you could ever meet...He was the brightest light in my life...Thus...why I feel so much darkness surrounding me...
So...this layout is all about my grief...How it feels...How lost I feel...I have also struggled with anxiety & depression for many years...& I had things under good control...until now...I am back on medication for this...to help with the crying & depression I feel...I have scrapped many layouts about anxiety & depression over the years...[mostly...before I was a Cheery-O]...But my layouts are often filled with deep emotions and feelings...no matter what the subject...It's just how I am & who I am...It is how I scrap...but saying that...It can be very exhausting...always feeling everything so deeply...all the time...
My : Grief & Sadness : Layout :
Created mostly : with Anna Aspnes products & a few 52 Inspirations 2023 products :
Full List will be in my gallery post :
Thanks! for reading this far...& Thank You! to Everyone! here for all of your continuing support...