Teenagers are sooo ANNOYING!!!!!!

[faerywings]

How can any human being that can download a file, manipulate and share it over the internet while blindfolded and half-asleep not know how to figure out which garbage can is filled with cardboard recycling??

I ask both kids to drag the recycling cans to the curb today on our way out to the bus stop. Both look at me and ask "Which cans?" OMG, open the lids!!!!!

We get in the car and I tell them that this time of year is very hectic and I really need all of the help around the house that I can get. They both say "We always tell you-- just tell us what needs to get done and we can do it."

:frusty:Ahhhhhhh!!! If they cannot figure out at this point that they laundry does not belong hanging in the laundry or that dirty dishes do not belong in their bedrooms, then we have MUCH bigger problem!
:rant:

This is their shtick. If I don't tell them specifically what needs to be done, then they don't think anything needs to be done. So I don't touch the dirty dishes or pick up dirty laundry until its so disgusting that I can't stand it. Then when I get their piles of laundry or dirty dishes- it throws more crap for me to do (I know, I really shouldn't even do it then, but when you run out of clean dishes, we gotta eat off of something!),

By the time i ask and remind and harass them, it turns out to be easier, less time consuming and less stressful for me to do it myself. Which is why they have no CLUE how to figure out which garbage can has cardboard in it.

:faint2:

Disclaimer: I meant for this to be a tongue-in-cheek, semi-humorous diatribe. But I guess it ended up being a full blown rant.

Please tell me that I am not the only one going through this.
What funny "idiot-teen" stories do you have?

 

[Dumpty]

OH Chris .... I can so totally relate to what you say !!

I'm planning on printing a few posters to display in various places at home
I have the one to pin above the dirty laundry hamper almost ready with this :
What I should check before puting stuf in this hamper
1/ did I really wear the clothes I'm about to drop in the hamper or did I just take them out of my cupboard and discard them before chosing something else to wear ?
2/ did I empty my pockets ?
3/ are my socks and underwear out of my trousers ?
4/ are my socks no longer in a ball ?

The 1rst one is totally for my teenager ... she tries on 20 outfits every morning and prefers to drop the discarded ones in the hamper rather than fold or hang everything back ...
PS numer 3 and 4 also apply to DH ... !!!

 

[terryb]

you aren't alone. It's frustrating to say the least.

When I was growing up we could do NOTHING until things were done in the house on a daily basis. No playing. No phone. No going over friends. No TV.......It worked.

 

[whatnext]

By the time i ask and remind and harass them, it turns out to be easier, less time consuming and less stressful for me to do it myself. Which is why they have no CLUE how to figure out which garbage can has cardboard in it

this is a dastardly plot by all husbands and children. play STUPID and be as annoying as possible when asked to help so that it becomes NECESSARY for YOU to do it yourself to keep from going totally insane. and then POOF!! they have to do nothing and you have to do everything!! it's MAGIC!!! are they smart or WHAT?? i am remembering myself SHRIEKING at my kids and husband: "WHY do you need me to TELL you what to do? JUST LOOK AROUND AND USE YOUR INITIATIVE!! you've heard me tell you this stuff often enough!! look around, SEE IT, DO IT!! take ME out of the equation!!! i'm as sick of saying this stuff as you are of hearing me say it!"

WE create these monsters, Chris. in order to stop being annoyed, we just do it ourselves. and that's what creates what we end up with. i have done the same thing. so, i expect, have a zillion other women.

i read once about a mom who just had a big box somewhere in the house. when her family left stuff all over the place, she just threw everything the the box. i personally would put it our on the back porch. in went dirty dishes, shoes, clothes, notebooks. the trouble with that is: i have found that these little beggers ADJUST to whatever you do, and end up just going to the box to find stuff OR just throw stuff into the box themselves, instead of saying: whoops. this must mean that i'm doing something wrong and i'd better FIX it.

since they require specifics, why not write them a specific list of what you want them to do every day (or every week.). tell them that they had said they needed to know what needed done. then tell them to do it, and what consequences there will be if they don't. and follow up. (e.g., no friends over until they help out. no chauffering the girlfriend to and fro.) one thing i would suggest, although it might be too late for your kids, because they're older. i never allowed my kids to take food into their bedrooms. never. that eliminatesTHAT worry.

you actually sound like someone who needs to go on strike. just STOP doing everything. i mean EVERYTHING. except the things that directly benefit YOU. tell them all beforehand that that's what you're doing. tell them what will settle the labor dispute. and remove yourself emotionally from the situation. if they choose not to step up, then just think about how much less work you'll have to do! i know this is almost impossible to do. but it IS doable. then, if the house gets too bad, go live with your mom. you have to decide: have your reached your limit? there are things you can do, if you have. if not, then just keep doing what you're doing and realize that you've made that choice and accept the consequences of that.

i sound like a deranged idiot. i know. but, really-- THESE are the sorts of things that WORK. it's a matter of being pissed off enough and loving yourself enough to actually follow through. tough stuff, for sure. i never was able to completely do it. so i live with the consequences.

good luck, Fairy.

 

[petey111]

I saw a "box" like that on Pinterest. Except that in order to get it out of the box, they had to do something to earn it. Like the dishes, or the trash, or something.

You could get a padlock and put it on the box and try it with the teens Chris.

I hate to say it though....it's a pretty standard teen problem.

 

[Madi]

Where is your wand when you need it, fairy!!

 

[jencropable]

I'm entering the trows of this right now. Everything you said Chris. EVERYTHING. I want to pull my hair out. Thanks for sharing cause sometimes I feel like I'm so alone in this world. I've also got schoolwork/homework/grades as an issue for one of mine. Boarding school is looking mighty good at this moment.

 

[cellomom]

yep...totally right there...

if I wanted to stand in your room to show you exactly what needed to be done, what needed to go where, what needed to be thrown away, etc, I would have cleaned it myself!! which is what they are hoping for, I fear!!!! Actually, since I did that for my oldest (cleaned her room) and found that it didn't bug her that I moved everything around in her room (what????), I'm afraid I may never get her to clean her room again...eeek!! (ETA - to my defense, she had just moved out and we were using the room as a guest room!!)

And as for the other "obvious" chores around the house??? They don't see it...I've taken to say "Look around the house with MY eyes, NOT your eyes!!!"

hugs, Chris (and all!!)...like Jen said, it's awesome to realize we are not alone in this world!!!!

 

[Ellen]

I used to have a box on the stairs and everything that did not belong where it was got chucked in there. regardless of who it belonged to, they could sort it out themselves.
They all had chores as well washing up- taking the dog out- put out the bins-hoover their rooms-tidy up the playroom.

 

[SharLamb]

I don't have an answer to it all, but I DO have an answer for the laundry. By the time they are 10, they are old enough to do their own laundry. My whole life changed when I taught my teens/pre-teens to run the washer and dryer. SERIOUSLY. There is no reason for you to be washing/drying/folding (gasp---not IRONING) their clothes or emptying their pockets or taking socks out of their pant legs or unrolling sock balls! They each get a day that is THEIR LAUNDRY DAY. If they miss their day, TOUGH! They wait till next week. I know. They will probably not fold or put away their clean clothes, but that is something you will just have to shut your eyes to.

 

[hondachicc]

Okay.....................I love this one....................you know me...the mean old Nana...well at the time the mean old Mom!!

I worked full time...at ages 10 & 12 yo....I took my girls downstairs and taught them to do laundry and told them that I would NOT do it any longer...they did the same as Marie's daughter....50 things in the floor and dirty clothes and never even wore them...if they didn't do the laundry, I would see them digging the dirty clothes out to wear them....a few snickers from their friends solve that problem (most of the time)...as for the other chores...I made a list....they had the SAME chores every single week............and yes...I had to make the list every single week or they didn't know what to do.....IF THEY DID NOT DO THEIR CHORES..THEY DID NOT GET TO GO WITH FRIENDS OR ANYTHING ELSE....their choice!!


Now that kids have cell phones, iphones and such...I would be taking that thing and tossing it in the drawer until the work is done!! the computer would be password locked until those chores are done....NO TOLERANCE!!!! TOUGH LOVE BABY!!! TOUGH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!


We belonged to a swim club too, so in the Summer, they wanted to swim all the time...it was just around the corner of my house too....you don't do the work...no swimming!!!!!!! I AM A BELIEVER OF EARNING WHAT YOU GET!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They did not get allowances either...why do I need to pay them to do this stuff?? If you NEED something, as your Mom I will get it for you....EVERYTHING ELSE IS EARNED!!!!!


I made the mistake of doing like you are when they were younger and yes they turned into MONSTERS!!!!!!!!!!! but I changed that, it took quite a while for them to get it...but sticking to my guns worked well....as a result...both of my girls had jobs at 15yo...they earned the money to have their own phones and buy cars...and pay for their own insurance!!!!!!!!!!


GET TOUGH WITH THEM SWEETIE!!!!!!!!!!!!! AIN'T GONNA HURT THEM NONE!!!!!!!!

 

[taxed4ever]

Wow totally agree with Nana Linda and Phylis on this one!! We are enabler's and if you don't nip it in the bud they will always be this way. Taking advantage of their sweet mother!! They won't hate you for being tough with them, they will actually respect you more for it! My hubby used to throw out the kids school work when they kept leaving it on the kitchen table when they got home from school. One warning that's all they got, if it happened again the homework, books and everything went in the trash. LOL They learned very quickly not to dump anything on the kitchen table. Hope you don't mind all of us ranting and raving at you Chris, but you deserve the help, you really do!!

 

[tanteva]

I have no idea what you are talking about - my teenager is always doing what he should ...













ound:

My solution probably isn't good or the right one, but I've decided to just accept that I do all things. I've come to the conclusion that I am the mother, the housewife, the cleaning lady, the cook, the laundrette, the enabler, the whatever-is-needed ... and it's my choice and I have to live with that. (Now I AM a housewife, and don't have a full-time job - this home is my job. Big difference from your life!) Anyway - it's working for me. Now I get happy when he does anything, instead of getting p*ssed over everything he doesn't do.

 

[jencropable]

My solution probably isn't good or the right one, but I've decided to just accept that I do all things. I've come to the conclusion that I am the mother, the housewife, the cleaning lady, the cook, the laundrette, the enabler, the whatever-is-needed ... and it's my choice and I have to live with that. (Now I AM a housewife, and don't have a full-time job - this home is my job. Big difference from your life!) Anyway - it's working for me. Now I get happy when he does anything, instead of getting p*ssed over everything he doesn't do.

I'm a stay at home momma too. Even tho the girls are in school all day. I do design work full time now but I feel like the house and my family are my first "job" so I'm finding it hard to transition over to making them all do it because of this AND because I don't want anyone thinking I just sit around all day AND because I LOVE a neat an organized house and they are all messy people!!! Please don't gang up on me too hard...

 

[SharLamb]

Part of our jobs (I was a SAHM too) is to teach our children to become functioning adults. They need to be TAUGHT to do laundry and organize their part of the world. Otherwise they will turn into self-centered little princes and princesses, always expecting someone else to take care of them. I wonder if anyone from the homesteading generation is reading this.

 

[clarabear]

This never ends?? Damn!!!

 

[SharLamb]

Not only does it never end, but then along come grandchildren over whom you have ZERO control! If we'd known "then" what we know "now," no one would have had the courage to have children and the race would have died out!!!! LOL Thank God for hormones and instinct!

 

[wombat146]

Oh Chris!!! it's easier to say than to do but it does work, stick up for YOUR rights!

I reared 4 kids on my own, from about the age of 10 they were responsible for packing their own school lunch, knew how to do the laundry and iron, knew how to mow the lawn and take out the garbage, knew how to wash and wipe up after dinner. Like most teenagers, as they got older they would 'forget' to do some stuff but the most important thing I did then was NOTHING. I did not do it for them. If they were really being totally horrible I would ground them, or take their phone privileges away, or something else until they saw the errors of their way!

I am very proud of my four grown up kids, the boys can all cook and do the laundry and they do help out their wives/partners and my daughter knows how to mow a lawn and take out the garbage as well!! There was never any 'boy' or 'girl' jobs at our place! lol! not saying they were/are perfect, they had their scrapes and issues, but maybe it WAS because I was a single parent that they did help out more times than not.


Chris, sit them down, give them new rules and tell them the consequences if they don't do it....... and the hardest thing is then TO STICK TO IT!! hugs to you sweetie, and know that there is a light at the end of tunnel! xx

 

[whatnext]

Clara, no it NEVER ends. but when they're grown, you can first make sure they don't live with you and second, let go and let them make a mess of things on their own time and in their own space....

 

[whatnext]

ps. one the funnier things about all this is watching your grown son who, when young, would rather not EAT than actually make something for himself turn into one of these Metrosexual guys who claim to love to cook. you know. in the kitchen chopping veggies and talking about the virtues of adding wine to various dishes. it just kills me....

 

[LaurieW]

Clara, no it NEVER ends. but when they're grown, you can first make sure they don't live with you and second, let go and let them make a mess of things on their own time and in their own space....

I had to laugh at this, about the time all the kids started moving back home after college- we started telling our boys that our expectation after high school was college or move out and get a job ( they were in 4th & 8th grade). We must have done a pretty good job of it, because once my youngest said- well we can come back and visit can't we?

Also when my oldest was in 6th grade he ranted to me about not having the clothes he wanted to wear to school- I told him we could prevent that from ever happening again and he agreed- I didn't tell him that it meant he would have his own laundry day and do his own laundry which meant if he didn't have what he wanted, it was his fault. He did it. I also told him it was a marketable skill in college- he could do others laundry for $$. He chose pizza delivery.

 

[whatnext]

Laurie, glad to know i wasn't the ONLY parent teaching their 10 year old that moving OUT was the greatest thing ever! :rofl: