Question for UK friends

[tanteva]

I have a question about etiquette. Unfortunately, my SIL Anna who lives in UK have cancer, and she only have months left. Hubby will go there in a couple of weeks to see his sister one last time. Anna's ex husband (they've been divorced for like 25 years and he has a new family) is kind enough to offer hubby to stay with them. I find this extremely generous, considering he haven't met hubby for about 25/30 years.

What I want to know is what is proper etiquette here? My instinct is that hubby should bring a gift of some sort. Maybe something typically Swedish, like a Dala horse or something (we live about 20 minutes drive from Nusnäs where the Dala horses are made). Or is it better to offer money? Also, hubby will be picked up at the airport.

Hubby is a complete idiot when it comes to these things, I blame it on his Asperger's. But I want it to be properly done. Especially since the family he will be staying with isn't really family.

Thanks for any input on this!

 

[petey111]

I'm sorry to hear about your SIL Eva.

An American opinion says a gift of some kind, not money. Money, to me the American, would almost be ... insulting? That might be a strong word for it, but I hope you know what I mean! A gift could be something like a small basket of special snacks/treats. Something the family could enjoy and would be harder for them to refuse. They could even eat the treats with him and it might make them feel better about accepting the gift.

Just my opinion from the American side!

 

[sabdesbois]

Sorry to hear this bad news about your SIL.

I agree with Sara. Money could look insulting. Treats and sweets are a good alternative, specially if they are some specialties (I so love the chocolate and oats cookies from Ikea!!). Also, if your husband is going to stay more than a couple of days, maybe he could invite them out for a dinner or a drink in a pub.

That's what we usually do in France! (we would probably also bring a bottle of Champagne or wine and maybe some macarons from La Durée!)

 

[Ellen]

Sad that he will see his sister again in these circumstances and so kind of the ex- b.i.l. to offer accommodation.

I agree, something typically Swedish -is there a Swedish cheese or something?
take them out for a meal , bring something for the kids if they have little ones.

I remember that my parents gave money to my aunt , or paid for the shopping whenever we stayed there during our holidays but that was close family and we arrived with 6 kids and she was not well off.

 

[clarabear]

Food gifts are always good. Money can be a bit off putting but if he has the opportunity to do something like fill up a gas tank or purchase dinner I always appreciate that.

 

[VickiStegall]

I agree with everyone else. I personally prefer consumable gifts. My house is filled to brim it seems, so consumables are always a blessing.

Big hugs to you and hubby.

 

[faerywings]

Eva- just popping in to send good thoughts to your family.

 

[tanteva]

Interesting to see how things differ in countries. In Sweden it would be rude not to offer money - which woukd be declined, but it's still proper to offer. I think a cdpting the money would be kinda rude. ound: Social rules are weird.

I have no idea what Swedish food/candy he could bring. Maybe he could get something at the shops on the airport.

Thanks everyone.♡

 

[tanteva]

Do you know who the biggest idiot is??? I said I had no idea what special food he could bring ... you even mentioned cheese! :doh:

We have a small local farm that makes their own cheese. Won awards and everything.

Why use your brain??? ound: