Need thoughts on Facebook

[tanteva]

I asked this in the Daily O thread yesterday, but I thought I'd start a new thread since not all read and participate in the Daily O's.

First - for those of you who didn't hear it already - my sister passed away Sunday evening (F#¤%ing cancer). This has got me thinking about a lot of things and Facebook is one of them. I truly hate what FB did to me - I got really really addicted and it was a real problem for me. On the other hand - that's the place where people socialize these days - even though it's so shallow at times I get crazy. But I was thinking I should get an account again - just to keep in touch with family and a few select friends. Not add any idiot I've ever known like I did before. Especially I want to have a daily update from the two girls that just lost their mother. Even though they are adults, for me they are still babies

How do you use Facebook? Is is possible to keep it at a bare minimum? How do you handle a friend request from someone you really don't want to have as a friend? Do you add everyone you know or used to know? How do you handle the idiots that drive you nuts? (Can you tell I have a people problem LOL)

Any thoughts and opinions on Facebook are welcome!

 

[Dumpty]

Hi Eva,

I'm so sorry for your loss ... (((hugs))). I'm at loss for words ... but I wish you and your family will in time feel less pain and be able to remember the good times spent together.

Regarding FB :
I add almost everyone I "know" but sort them in lists and when I publish something on my wall I pick which list gets what. That way I can use it as a means of exchange on various levels.

hope this helps
xoxo

 

[Alegna]

I'm so sorry for your loss Eva, again big hugs for you!

I have lots of friends and 'friends' on facebook and also a lot of family which I would never hear from otherwise, so I like it. I just have the settings different for different people. Some are only friends and I don't see any updates of them on my timeline and from others I see everything and some I even set so I get a notification when they post something.
I think you can easily manage what you want to see from who and who sees your things and if I get request from people I really don't want as friends, I just ignore them (like the one from my neighbor ound: should anyone here happen to know her .... please don't tell her :mrgreen

 

[clarabear]

I like that you can hide people's posts if you don't want to see them. I hide anyone who annoys me. You also just don't have to accept everyone. Or you can accept them and delete them if they bother you. It doesn't send a notification or anything.

Hugs! My heart breaks for you losing your sister. Hugs.

 

[faerywings]

Eva- I hope that each day you feel a bit better, even though I know you will have good days and bad. Sometimes you'll see some funny stuff on your feed to make you smile.

ITA with Angela and Dumpty even though I tend to be lazy about lists like that myself. I have removed friends from my newsfeed but I can see what they are up to if I view them in a List. Makes it easier to ignore some of the ridiculous stuff that gets posted by them.

Also- IMHO- block games. I was addicted to Mafia Wars/Farmville when I first got on FB years ago. Total time wasters, so I blocked them all. Then when I inhereited my MIL's old ipad, she showed me some games to play-- Candy Crush and Bubble Witch. My Feed/Notifications get all "spammed" again, so I blocked them all again.

And remember, now it has that way of knowing who you click on most, so if there is someone you can stand but you read just because it makes you mad at them (I had a few people like that I admit, guilty aggravated reading pleasure!!!) try not to b/c then they show up in your feed more often.

hugs sweetie!!!!!

 

[timounette]

Oh Eva so sorry for you and for your family... Big "Hugs" to you sweetie.

For FB I only have people I knew.... But I admit I didn't read everything... I select the people I really want to follow.

Dumpty, If you can explain me you to make lists...

 

[LaurieW]

I do not add everyone I know or that is suggested or even that asks to be my friend- I just click the not now button- like my nephew by marriage father- really- I met you once many, many years ago- I would rather get to know real life people. The other thing I did because I don't want everything public- I created a private family group and invited only family to join. We can post family updates, questions, photos and memories in there and it works out well.

I also use it as a place to advertise the digi layouts that I have created. I shared one in my family group and one brother said- I can't see the picture for the wallpaper. Yeah I won't post anymore of those- and he thought my response on how to enlarge the photo was snippy!! Perhaps it was- wonder why

 

[Madi]

So sorry for your loss Eva.
I use facebook, but not frequently. Everytime I want to know something, I have to ask Maya. She has all her groups separately, school, scrap, family etc.
and I also have some very frequent posters removed from my newsfeed.
I have no problem accepting friends (as long as I "know" them) and if they annoy me, I can remove them again.

 

[hondachicc]

Eva.....(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so very sorry for your loss...my heart goes out to you sweetie. I will pray for you and your family for some peace.




As for FB.....I have family members that use FB ONLY for very close family and friends...not having more than 20 fb friends.....You should not worry over those friend requests....if you get one and don't want to add them, just hit ignore....they don't know that you did, and if you have everything private on your page, then they will never even know when you are on FB anyway....so as far as they are concerned, you just never even get on....they don't know that you ignored it...and the reality is, with so many people having 100's of friends...they are not going to realize it anyway.


Just remember...it's a social network for YOURSELF, not for everyone else...you use it the way YOU WANT TO. YOu should not feel obligation.


Me....I had added friend requests from old HS people when I first joined...but I thought later, why do I need to be friends with people that I didn't really like back then, haven't seen in 30 years....DELETED THEM ALL!!

 

[Dumpty]

Dumpty, If you can explain me how to make lists...

You're on Timou
It might take some time because I'm working this week-end as support for a big cutover we have, and depending on how the cutover goes I will have time to do this for you or not...

 

[dwsewbiz]

I am so sorry for your loss Eva, my heart just breaks for you and your family.

Great advice from everyone!

Like Chris I enjoy Facebook for all the pretty things I get to see, but I have also discovered long lost friends, like from elementary school, and to keep in touch with people I don't get to see.

In other words, do what you want!

 

[AnikA68]

I´m so sorry for your less. I don´t have the right words,only sadness.

I started with FB because of the scrap stuff when most desingers asked for promo there. I don´t post much about my life , what I eat when, where, with whom I meet and so on. I added only people which I know, most of them are from the scrap world. With family and close friends I have real contact and no need to contact them via FB.
I also have blogged some of my friends which I know real, because they posted pictures which I don´t like. So no need to delete them, blog it and you are free of any stuff which annoys you.

 

[petey111]

Eva - I am sooo sorry for your loss honey. You've had such a rough go of it.

I didn't read through everyone's posts yet as I'm at work, but I want to share a few tips.

#1 - Don't add any games....don't hook your Facebook account to any other sites. The less you have going on with it, the less time you'll be interested in spending on there. Also, the majority of "game" and "app" developers on Facebook are bent on getting and selling your info. Just don't do it.

#2 - Don't add everyone. Only add the people that you TRULY want to hear from. If you have someone you don't want as a friend that sends you a request, just let it sit there. You don't have to do anything with it.

#3 - If there are people that you don't want to ignore their request (perhaps because they are family and it would cause too much drama or something), add them, but then hide them from your News Feed. Again, only have the people in your feed that you really want to hear/see from.

#4 - Take the time to go through settings. Even if you want to hear what someone has to say in their status, it doesn't mean you want to see everything they comment on and share and post. Take a minute with each person to hit the arrow next to their name and check mark and uncheck mark what you want to see and not see.

#5 - Take a lot of time to go through your privacy settings. The more "locked down" you are, the less requests you will get from people you don't care about.

#6 - Set a specific time of the day and amount of time you want to spend and try to stick to that. There are even tools you can install and use that block you from going to Facebook so many times or spending more than x amount of time on it.

Also realize that Facebook use is declining. I don't think it will last forever, it will turn to something else.

I hope you find comfort in connecting with your friends and family though. Love you girl!

 

[digigal]

So sorry,Eva for your loss, hoping time heals.
Interesting thread about FB. Does anyone know how to set the settings so you "approve" before a wall posting? (example: someone comments on a job before it is public?)

Thanks.

 

[Heather Prins]

I am so very sorry for your loss !
I was opposed to Facebook for a very long time until I joined the Anna team. Now I have an account and I use it for scrapbooking only. I rarely post personal stuff and I don't talk to friends or family there, just my scrappy friends. I friend those I have met in the scrapbooking industry, online of course. I keep it simple. For you I would suggest a private fb page for your select friends and family and keep it to that. Do not dump all your thoughts and feelings there, do not use it as a blog, keep a private blog for that if you must. FB is a crazy place if you allow it to be.
IMO

 

[Ellen]

oh noo Eva, so sorry for the loss of your sister , your family has gone through so much lately. big hugs .

I don't do Facebook, I tried for 2 days and then thought no this is not for me so deleted my account.

 

[petey111]

Francine - I don't think you can do that.

You can set it to approve things you are tagged in, but you can't set up approval of comments or posts or anything. Just that it won't post to your timeline if you are specifically tagged in it and you don't approve it.

 

[VickiStegall]

oh, Eva, I'm so sorry for your loss. Big, big hugs to you, sweetie!


Facebook - oh, i'm not the one to ask lol

 

[dlhoffer]

I don't really have the answers for FB either, but I am so terribly sorry for your loss, Eva. (((HUGS)))

 

[Nickel]

I am sorry for your loss.

I use facebook but I am reading stuff in this thread that I didn't know myself..

 

[petey111]

Dumpty, If you can explain me you to make lists...

I don't know if this will look different for you or not. But on mine, on the left side, I go all the way down to the bottom of the menu - I had to go past groups, pages, and apps, etc. Then I clicked the "More" button. I now had a "Friends" section. When you move your mouse towards the "Friends" header, you see a "More" choice to the right of it. Click on that.

Now you can create as many lists of Friends as you want. I have family, scrapbookers, work friends, people from the town I work in, friends from school, teachers, etc. Then you can go into your friends section and add each friends to as many lists as you want. When you post something, you can choose to post it to your friends, everyone, certain lists, etc.

Hope that helps!