Well ladies, you said it was ok....
why don't you grab some coffee or tea and a comfy chair? - this is going to be long and rambling.
lets see-- I woke up feeling crappy- I didn't sleep good from all of the craziness from the day before. I was nervous about the mammo, plus all of the Ex-BF stuff was kinda flipping me out. Not in a bad way, but bittersweet. Then add in the Holiday GC thing (I decided to sign up. If it eases the burden a bit, it is worth it, and next year when things are better for us, I will be able to help someone else).... just a rough morning.
So I meet my BFF for lunch, I give her my sob story, then she gives me hers. I was teasing her that I was going to bring a timer since we had limited time- that way we could take turns LOLOL!
A lot of my insecurities came out in our discussion- and she gets all of that. She has been my BFF since we were in grade school. So yeah, we both got emotional.
Then off to Chilton for the mammo. After they take the films, and I try to relax, they come in and bring me in to see the dr. Now I know that I am not just getting sent home with a "come back next year/6 months." They don't know what is causing the microcalcifications and I need to get a biopsy done. A stereostatic biopsy, anyone have any experience with that??
They told me very nicely that 80% of all calcs are benign, but if I fall into the 20%, then I will have caught i early and it would be a non-invasive cancer. As the nurse took me for a "tour" of the biopsy room, she was telling me to not worry, that even worst case scenario I would not need a mastectomy, I felt so bad for her, I think she was really trying to reassure me, but it was like whoa!!!! Don't say the "C" word, even if it is most likely not!
I get home and have to now call my mom. She ends up crying and I beg her to please get a mammo for herself. For me. For Caitlyn. I told her that they ask me about family history and I think it finally hit her, that I *need* to know.
Then Cait comes in- I had the door closed but the silly dog pushed it open -and she heard the word biopsy and wanted to know what was going on. I told her a bit, then she comes back asking if I I have cancer, if am going to die. (A couple of years ago one of her good friend's mom found out she had cancer and w/in weeks, she passed- I know that is what she was thinking). So I have to explain more.
By this point I am fried F.R.I.E.D.!!! And I hop onto FB to go shoot people in Mafia Wars LOL and I have another msg from the Ex-BF. Heart wrenching. I am emailing back and forth with my BFF who is freaking out on both bits of news. I am freaking out over everything.
So I did what every girl shoudl then do. I grabbed my book and a nice glass of wine, and relaxed while Cait and Gary cooked dinner. We watched some more of the Monty Python documentary and then a Flying Circus and then I went to bed!
I didn't sleep so good - go figure....
Now I am tired, and I need to get my butt going so I can get the kids to school and off to work.....
Thanks for listening! (Reading!) And to everyone who made it through all this, here's a glass of wine for ya- Yellow Tail Merlot. mmmm!
Signing off,
LMM
(Little Miss Munchhausen)
why don't you grab some coffee or tea and a comfy chair? - this is going to be long and rambling.
lets see-- I woke up feeling crappy- I didn't sleep good from all of the craziness from the day before. I was nervous about the mammo, plus all of the Ex-BF stuff was kinda flipping me out. Not in a bad way, but bittersweet. Then add in the Holiday GC thing (I decided to sign up. If it eases the burden a bit, it is worth it, and next year when things are better for us, I will be able to help someone else).... just a rough morning.
So I meet my BFF for lunch, I give her my sob story, then she gives me hers. I was teasing her that I was going to bring a timer since we had limited time- that way we could take turns LOLOL!
A lot of my insecurities came out in our discussion- and she gets all of that. She has been my BFF since we were in grade school. So yeah, we both got emotional.
Then off to Chilton for the mammo. After they take the films, and I try to relax, they come in and bring me in to see the dr. Now I know that I am not just getting sent home with a "come back next year/6 months." They don't know what is causing the microcalcifications and I need to get a biopsy done. A stereostatic biopsy, anyone have any experience with that??
They told me very nicely that 80% of all calcs are benign, but if I fall into the 20%, then I will have caught i early and it would be a non-invasive cancer. As the nurse took me for a "tour" of the biopsy room, she was telling me to not worry, that even worst case scenario I would not need a mastectomy, I felt so bad for her, I think she was really trying to reassure me, but it was like whoa!!!! Don't say the "C" word, even if it is most likely not!
I get home and have to now call my mom. She ends up crying and I beg her to please get a mammo for herself. For me. For Caitlyn. I told her that they ask me about family history and I think it finally hit her, that I *need* to know.
Then Cait comes in- I had the door closed but the silly dog pushed it open -and she heard the word biopsy and wanted to know what was going on. I told her a bit, then she comes back asking if I I have cancer, if am going to die. (A couple of years ago one of her good friend's mom found out she had cancer and w/in weeks, she passed- I know that is what she was thinking). So I have to explain more.
By this point I am fried F.R.I.E.D.!!! And I hop onto FB to go shoot people in Mafia Wars LOL and I have another msg from the Ex-BF. Heart wrenching. I am emailing back and forth with my BFF who is freaking out on both bits of news. I am freaking out over everything.
So I did what every girl shoudl then do. I grabbed my book and a nice glass of wine, and relaxed while Cait and Gary cooked dinner. We watched some more of the Monty Python documentary and then a Flying Circus and then I went to bed!
I didn't sleep so good - go figure....
Now I am tired, and I need to get my butt going so I can get the kids to school and off to work.....
Thanks for listening! (Reading!) And to everyone who made it through all this, here's a glass of wine for ya- Yellow Tail Merlot. mmmm!
Signing off,
LMM
(Little Miss Munchhausen)