My goodness, it is wonderful to be back home.Vacation (if you could call it that!) was not relaxing one little bit. I had to deal with 4 teens and 2 toddlers, the toddlers being my parents. All they did was bicker. You know how much I adore my mom, right? She was making me pull my hair out! She was so negative and worried about everything. I tried to reason with her gently, but by Monday, I was done. I tried to joke that if I had a quarter for every time she said, "True, true" and then ignored my suggestions, I'd be rich. It was beyond frustrating. I should have just shut my mouth.
At one point, I told her that hopefully she had another 25 years years left (she is 75 now) with us, did she want to spend it worrying over wrinkled tablecloths or what a distant relative did wrong 16 years ago, or let that crap go and enjoy being in the moment.
Even the kids were getting upset by it and after breakfast yesterday, they asked her what she thought about maybe seeing a therapist, someone who could help her prioritize what needs to get done, what things she can control and how to let go of the things she can't. She said something about people thinking less of her if she did that. I get that is a generational thing, but I asked the group-- how many of us have been in therapy-- and we all raised our hands. Leah even gave my mom the name and number of the therapist she sees who specializes in anxiety in teens/adults.
I wish I knew how to help her, but I honestly don't think she wants/is able to help herself. But that makes me incredibly sad that I can't spend my time with her and be happy, it is all negativity all of the time. I know, for real, that I can be negative. *wink* A lot. And I worry. A lot. *winks again*
But this past year has really forced me to look at what is important and to try to get rid of what's not. I know that I am a work in progress. My kids will call me out on that too. And I think that is what makes it even harder to be around her when she is like that-- because some days, I have a reeeeally tenuous thread on my own positive thinking.
If any of you wonderful and wise women have any advice in this, I am willing to listen and give it a shot. Thanks for listening to be ramble too
At one point, I told her that hopefully she had another 25 years years left (she is 75 now) with us, did she want to spend it worrying over wrinkled tablecloths or what a distant relative did wrong 16 years ago, or let that crap go and enjoy being in the moment.
Even the kids were getting upset by it and after breakfast yesterday, they asked her what she thought about maybe seeing a therapist, someone who could help her prioritize what needs to get done, what things she can control and how to let go of the things she can't. She said something about people thinking less of her if she did that. I get that is a generational thing, but I asked the group-- how many of us have been in therapy-- and we all raised our hands. Leah even gave my mom the name and number of the therapist she sees who specializes in anxiety in teens/adults.
I wish I knew how to help her, but I honestly don't think she wants/is able to help herself. But that makes me incredibly sad that I can't spend my time with her and be happy, it is all negativity all of the time. I know, for real, that I can be negative. *wink* A lot. And I worry. A lot. *winks again*
But this past year has really forced me to look at what is important and to try to get rid of what's not. I know that I am a work in progress. My kids will call me out on that too. And I think that is what makes it even harder to be around her when she is like that-- because some days, I have a reeeeally tenuous thread on my own positive thinking.
If any of you wonderful and wise women have any advice in this, I am willing to listen and give it a shot. Thanks for listening to be ramble too
