Oscraps

Daily Ooo's: Wednesday, August 6

faerywings

The Loopy-O
CHEERY O
My goodness, it is wonderful to be back home.Vacation (if you could call it that!) was not relaxing one little bit. I had to deal with 4 teens and 2 toddlers, the toddlers being my parents. All they did was bicker. You know how much I adore my mom, right? She was making me pull my hair out! She was so negative and worried about everything. I tried to reason with her gently, but by Monday, I was done. I tried to joke that if I had a quarter for every time she said, "True, true" and then ignored my suggestions, I'd be rich. It was beyond frustrating. I should have just shut my mouth.
At one point, I told her that hopefully she had another 25 years years left (she is 75 now) with us, did she want to spend it worrying over wrinkled tablecloths or what a distant relative did wrong 16 years ago, or let that crap go and enjoy being in the moment.

Even the kids were getting upset by it and after breakfast yesterday, they asked her what she thought about maybe seeing a therapist, someone who could help her prioritize what needs to get done, what things she can control and how to let go of the things she can't. She said something about people thinking less of her if she did that. I get that is a generational thing, but I asked the group-- how many of us have been in therapy-- and we all raised our hands. Leah even gave my mom the name and number of the therapist she sees who specializes in anxiety in teens/adults.

I wish I knew how to help her, but I honestly don't think she wants/is able to help herself. But that makes me incredibly sad that I can't spend my time with her and be happy, it is all negativity all of the time. I know, for real, that I can be negative. *wink* A lot. And I worry. A lot. *winks again*
But this past year has really forced me to look at what is important and to try to get rid of what's not. I know that I am a work in progress. My kids will call me out on that too. And I think that is what makes it even harder to be around her when she is like that-- because some days, I have a reeeeally tenuous thread on my own positive thinking.

If any of you wonderful and wise women have any advice in this, I am willing to listen and give it a shot. Thanks for listening to be ramble too
 

faerywings

The Loopy-O
CHEERY O
*sighs and regroups*:)

It is also very good to be back here in the Ooo's!!! I missed really being able to check in every day. Typing one handed on a tablet bites! Our laptops were all acting up with my parents wireless network too. I think I blabbed about my phone and old tablet being about to connect to their unsecured network, but my old laptop could only see the secured connection and no one had the password. We finally-- as in late monday night!- figured it out. Scott called the router manufacturer and she walked him through how to get the info we needed. Its all so bizarre ;)

Today I am playing catch-up on laundry and then working. It looks like it is going to be a beautiful afternoon and would love to get an hour at the lake, but that depends on how much I get done this morning. the kids have been great about helping with laundry and Scott asked me to give him a list of stuff he can do after he mows lawns today.

Sara, I am so sorry to hear that you have to go back to work today. When do the kids come back or is that today too? Oh, yup, I scrolled down and see it is on Monday. We still have a few weeks left here. We go until the last week of June and then start somewhere either right before or right after Labor Day.
How was mini-golf? I love mini-golf. That was actually one semi-fun thing we did together over the weekend.

Phyllis- How did your carpets and baseboards hold up? I worry sometimes too, when I bring Cait with me to work since she is only 15. But she does a great job,and I always go back through the rooms to make sure didn't miss anything, but I rarely have to re-do anything. Hope your carpet kid was good too.
What did you do for dinner? I am going to have to think of something for tonight too.

To everyone who pops in, love hugs, and happy thoughts!
 

nancyr

Well-Known Member
good morning - not sure when I checked in last but I have been busy. Yesterday I went for my annual physical and so far things look really good my cholesterol was 175, and my blood pressure was really good! Even my weight had not changed. So I am happy! Amanda my DIL and I have been taking day trips and that has been really fun. We both look photography and hiking. But she has learned that for me hiking is actually not bush wacky through the woods but finding nice paths to walk along. She also is having fun becoming a birdwatcher. She sent my photos of a bird outside the bedroom window and I helped her figure it out. This is good! We went to Dingman's Falls in PA and in coming home I took a left when I should have gone right. Well WAZE my favorite directions app took me on some dirt one lane road and it was crazy. We finally hit a portion that said road closed! We laughed a lot over this. Ended up taking a fish and game road. Got some great photos! Been riding my bike and that is also good.

Chris it is so funny that you should bring up the negativity of your mother. When I was visiting my Aunt all she wanted to talk about were the bad things that happened to her. I asked my Dr. yesterday if all those in their 80's were cranky and negative. He said yes. Well Chris like you that is not going to be me. As you say it does take work but I just can't see living that long and remembering bad.

Phylis hope the carpet cleaning went well! I think your photography project is so interesting!

Sara I can't believe your schools start in the middle of Aug. In NJ we don't start until after Labor Day. Yes they go to school well into June. I think NJ just has too many school vacation days and of course we have built in snow days. Hope your mini golfing with Ben was so fun! I love mini golf. I am bad but still fun!

Have a great day all!
 

whatnext

Well-Known Member
That was actually one semi-fun thing we did together over the weekend.

this actually made me laugh. semi-fun. sorry to laugh about your not-pleasant "vacation," Chris. honestly, is there anything worse than a vacation that ISN"T??? reminds me of my Outer Banks disaster in June. :faint2: i think there's a piece of advice that is good across the board, for everyone and in every situation. and that is : all you can do is decide what YOU are going to do. if your mom won't or can't change, after talking with her, with love, then decide what you need to do to keep yourself in a good place, whatever that entails. that's all i think i know about anything. all you can do is decide what YOU are going to do.what everyone else decides to do is pretty much out of your control.

guess what? more zucchini bread baking. i now have 24 loaves in my downstairs freezer, and i've already given away at least 6 more. i think i have a few more zucchini growing out there, but it's definitely winding down. i have to deal with tomatoes now. salsa canning. a lot more work than baking zucchini bread!

looks like a rainy day here today. it's gonna take a week for my carpets to dry! the "kid" did a lovely job on the carpets, and only got my baseboards a tiny bit in one place, TG.

enjoy Wednesday! :becky:
 
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whatnext

Well-Known Member
hi, Nancy!! wow!! your cholesterol is great! i have to take Lipitor to get those numbers! great story about the back roads wrong turn! that hapoened to us out West somewhere. i think it was Eastern Oregon. we were totally TOTALLY lost, and no GPS! how excellent that you have a nice relationship with your DIL! the cemetery thing is interesting to me, but my husband thinks it's odd, to say the least....
 

whatnext

Well-Known Member
oh, wait. did i just say that the zucchini outside is winding down???? i just brought these in....
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scrap-genie

Well-Known Member
NOT TRUE!! The cranky/negative attitude is NOT part of being 70s and 80s. It CAN be true, but is not a requirement. :)

Two relatives in their late 80s lived in the same assisted living facility. Same age, widows, heart problems, etc. One suffered from clinical depression the other had a sunny disposition. Night and day.

My sister is 83, I'm 70, many friends are older than I am. Almost all are busy and do things and are not suffering from negativity. We CAN be annoyingly eccentric and may do it intentionally at times. So you have to take each individual as an individual. Everyone has their own set of troubles.

Sorry for the rant, but you can tell it hit a hot button. Anyway, nice day here, but lots to do. Have a large drawing that needs finishing so it and another can get framed for our exhibit next month. Also am preparing a talk for Saturday.

Hoping everyone is having a good day.
 
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