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Sadness & Grief
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RJMJ

Sadness & Grief

Created For The August 2023 : Challenge #3 : Occasions & Themes : Featuring : An Everyday Challenge Of Your Life

***SENSITIVE SUBJECT MATTER ~ ABOUT LOSS,GRIEF & CANCER*** this information is very personal...& I will not be posting this on my FB page...only here ***


Hi! there Everyone...Feels like it's been so long since I've been here...Well...Kinda...I've been here lurking around quietly...Checking things out in the background...It's been awhile since I have posted a layout for sure...My life has been filled with so many challenges...Scrapping about just 1 would be difficult to say the least...But the worst thing I'm going through now...[as some of you may know...already...]..I am MIA due to the sudden loss of my Beloved Husband,Ray...due to cancer...He was diagnosed too late to be saved...With the cancer already affecting his heart down to only 20% function...He had a fall at our apartment & was in considerable pain...so I called the ambulance...Only 9 days later...he passed away from Stage 4 Throat Cancer that had spread to his brain...They told me he didn't have much time left....only 2 days after his arrival at the hospital...I couldn't believe what I was hearing...Was this a mistake...no!...There wasn't any cancer in his family either...Raymond spent his last days in Palliative care in hospice...I didn't want him to suffer anymore...so I made the difficult decision to do so...

***You can read the rest of my story here : https://oscraps.com/community/threads/august-challenge-3-occasions-themes.38062/post-673425

So...this layout is all about my grief...How it feels...How lost I feel...I have also struggled with anxiety & depression for many years...& I had things under good control...until now...I am back on medication for this...to help with the crying & depression I feel...I have scrapped many layouts about anxiety & depression over the years...[mostly...before I was a Cheery-O]...But my layouts are often filled with deep emotions and feelings...no matter what the subject...It's just how I am & who I am...It is how I scrap...but saying that...It can be very exhausting...always feeling everything so deeply...all the time...

Thanks! for reading this far...& Thank You! to Everyone! here for all of your continuing support...

Photos : Compliments Of : Audrey K : Unsplash : reworked by me
Click to expand...
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Reactions: joyfulheartdesigns
Cherylndesigns
I'm so sorry for your loss, Rhonda. I can tell you poured your heart out onto this page. Sending lots of cyber hugs to you.
 
Veronika
a very impressive layout with all your feelings and infinite sadness, you did it wonderfully!
I am so sorry for your loss and I know from my own experience what it feels like to intensively support a loved one as they die
This whole shock diagnosis, then the intensive grief counseling are emotionally drastic experiences that shape you deeply.
How nice that your family can be there for you and support you!
I wish you sunshine in your life again!!
 
Jam-on-toast
Rhonda, your page is absolutely beautiful! I love the colors and the clusters and the placement of everything, from wordart to blended photos. Your ability to scrap emotions is unparalleled.
 
vickyday
I'm so sorry for your loss, Rhonda! I feel your pain totally! I lost my husband to cancer, too. Not in the same suddenness, but loss is loss, now matter how quickly or delayed it is in coming! Sending prayers for you! :hug2:
 
RJMJ
helenedubois said:
I can totally relate having recently delt with a great loss and now going through it again.
So very sorry--it is a wonderful LO to convey your message
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@helenedubois Oh! I'm so sorry to hear that you are dealing with such a loss...& then again more loss...My heart :heartpumpred: goes out to you...please accept my condolences to you,your family & friends...Loss is so difficult & grief is even more difficult...I am just trying to navigate/come to grips with...my loss & grief...Please take Care! & Hug the ones you Love!...Sending you Hugs too!...xo Rhonda ...
 
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RJMJ
@vickyday Oh! Vicky...I'm so sorry to hear that you lost your beloved husband also to cancer...Please accept my heartfelt condolences...Time & manner of loss does not make the loss anymore or less difficult to deal with,feel,live through,accept or bear...Grief grabs hold & grips like a heavy darkness...that surrounds your already heavy heart...I certainly don't have the answers... And when I ask people how to navigate grief...They all tell me the same thing...Each person,heart & soul is different...& we each have to find our own way to live with loss,accept it,work through it & try to figure out how to move forward...somehow...While for me...that is a daunting task...Seemingly insurmountable for me right now...All I can do is take each day as it comes...& do the best I can...If I need to cry...then I cry...If I feel overwhelmed & exhausted...Then I sleep...I find now...it just hits me all of a sudden...Like a brick hitting my heart...once again...only to make me even more aware...that my Beloved Ray...is no longer here...That's...[for me] ...why grief is so hard...You never know when it is gonna strike you & take you down...whether that is for seconds,minutes,hours...or days sometimes...You just have to feel it,go through each wave & then try to move forward ...until the next wave hits you once again...And then move through it once again...Sending you prayers & Hugs too! Vicky...Take Care...& Thank You! for your kind words...:heartpumpred: ...It means so much!!!...xo Rhonda ...
 
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RJMJ
Jam-on-toast said:
Rhonda, your page is absolutely beautiful! I love the colors and the clusters and the placement of everything, from wordart to blended photos. Your ability to scrap emotions is unparalleled.
Click to expand...
@Jam-on-toast Your very Sweet! :flower: & Oh! so kind words...really touched my broken and very sad heart...:brokenheart::sad1: ...today...I have read them over & over...Such an Amazing! compliment...that means so much to me...Thank You! so much kindly...Hugs! :hug2: & Hearts! :beatingheart::heartpumpred::heartpumppink:...xo Rhonda...
 
RJMJ
Veronika said:
a very impressive layout with all your feelings and infinite sadness, you did it wonderfully!
I am so sorry for your loss and I know from my own experience what it feels like to intensively support a loved one as they die
This whole shock diagnosis, then the intensive grief counseling are emotionally drastic experiences that shape you deeply.
How nice that your family can be there for you and support you!
I wish you sunshine in your life again!!
Click to expand...
@Veronika I'm so sorry to hear that you have had to go through that too...It is the hardest thing to go through & bare...It tore my heart apart...each day & night...Seeing him in so much pain...it took such an emotional toll on me...When he was moved to palliative care...I at least knew he wasn't gonna suffer anymore...But that broke my heart even more...knowing he didn't have much time left...Every moment was as precious as the next...Eventhough we spent 26 years together...It was never ever gonna be enough...It is never enough when you love someone so deeply,like we loved each other...We always took care of each other through all the good & bad times...It seems my heart breaks each day in a new & different way...Then breaks again...& again...over & over again...like cycles...Will that feeling ever end?...Again...I don't know...I can only handle one day at a time...Sometimes one minute,one second,one hour at a time...until the day is over & I sleep & then a new day begins again...Thank You! for your kind words...Please take Care of yourself...And Yes! I am very grateful for the support of my family & friends..with whom...I would have never gotten through this up to now...Hugs!...xx Rhonda...
 
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