Kids and food

[Jeannette]

I have three kids. My youngest, a boy (16) eats everything and loves meat. My second child, a girl (19) is a vegetarian. She has been since she was eleven. My oldest daughter (20) is a vegan for about three years now.
I think you can imagen this drives me totally nuts sometimes :gaah:

The oldest however, also has an eating disorder, and now get help from a psychologist and someone who knows a lot about food (I don't know the word for it). She now is vegetarian since a few months, so it will be a bit easier to overcome her eating disorder.
Can you imagen a vegan who doesn't like vegetables? Makes your life hard LOL

My husband is very willing to skip is meat for about three times a week, my son isn't. Me, I'm kind of flexible. I can do without meat very well, and I prefer not to eat meat, but I won't make any trouble when we have a meal with some meat in it.
My daughters, however, refuse to eat meat at all!
It must have been years, and years that all are meals were a constant battle about what was on their plates. Especially the girls didn't let a change go by, witouth letting their dad and brother know what they were actually eating, what the animal had looked like and how it was treated during his life.

I must admit it drove me crazy, and I longed for a pleasant meal again. Just sitting at the table without fighting, but enjoying my food with laughter and fun.

So I decided, that whenever I cook, I will not allow any complaints. No arguing, no fights, no nothing. I don't care anymore if they eat, they sit at the table and behave. When they do not agree with the food that is on the table, they can make sure they get their own food after dinner. They will have to buy and cook it themselves. I only buy and cook food one time a day!

It worked. Not all of the time, but most nights we sit at the dinner table now as a family, enjoying the food and each others company .

( I hope I didn't misspell to many words :doh:

 

[faerywings]

I see your bet and raise you one! To add to my food-nightmare mix, my husband is also a Type 1 diabetic who has to count carbs. I do only have two kids, not three, but because he is disabled, we are on a limited budget and healthy food is expensive food. Guess it kind of evens out.

My DD is a vegetarian. My son and I don't eat pork or beef. My DH will eat those if someone else cooks it like when my mom brings up some meatloaf for him. I won't cook anything that has bones, so chicken cutlets or ground turkey is about it.
Unfortunately, my DD, also 20, and I have a history of anorexia. I was in and out of treatment since I was 13-- mostly with psychologists but had to do a stint in an outpatient setting in 2004. Food is a pretty thorny issue for all of us.

One of my biggest stressors, outside of finances, is what to cook for dinner. Last year, my daughter asked me that question and I burst into tears. haha!!
I try to balance the chicken dishes to ones that she is not home and soups/quiches that my son dislikes-- I make when he is not home. It is enough to make my head spin. I try to have veggie burgers or ramen on hand for them to cook or they are always welcome to make a PB&J sandwich or a bowl of cereal.
We have always had loud, raucous debates at the table -- mostly political-- but that's is a bad topic at this point in time now too. We all have basically the same ideology but sometimes even that isn't enough anymore.

I am proud of you for putting your foot down andletting them know that there is no more fighting at the table.

Who else deals with this? I would love to hear any and all solutions!!

 

[VickiStegall]

I am the difficult one in my family. My DH and son would both pretty much eat steak and salad for every meal. I have so many food allergies and really don't like to cook. Food is a bit of a trigger for me lol

 

[Jeannette]

Having a food disorder is so hard, and so tricky. It stays with you for the rest of your life, and is something you will always have to deal with.
My DD has a disorder named: ARFID. This stands for Avoiding/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder.
She started with it when she was 4 years old. Slowly during the next years she ate less and less. We saw doctors about her eating, but they didn't recognize it at all. One even told me I was lucky my kids wasn't fat, and I shouldn't bother.
This disorder is now acknowlidge by psychologist as a serious eating disorder, and she finally gets help.

Although it's different from anorexia, I do think the social part of it is kind of similar. Eating is not only necesary, it is also a social happening. For people with eating disorders the social part is awfully difficult.

And yes, here in the Netherlands it is the same. Healthy food is so much more expensive then unhealthy food. I really wonder why this is???

 

[marijke]

Oops jeannette ... that is indeed not possible for everyone in your family to put a separate meal on the table ... I understand you completely ... my son and his family eat weekly with us ... my daughter-in-law does not eat meat , no tomatoes, no fruits, no milk products, almost no fish and few fats ... and my grandchildren are allergic to cow's milk ... She gets eczema from a lot of nutrients ... the grandchildren also suffer from eczema ...
It is only once a week and sometimes I do not know what to prepare what is delicious for everyone ...

 

[VickiStegall]

One thing I do when we go to a group gathering is either to eat before I go or I take my own food. Then no one has to change anything for me. It's just easier in the long run for me.