*peeks around the corner*
It is still not 100% safe for me to come out yet but heck, at least out I am from behind the sofa like I was yesterday.
I had an emotional day yesterday. By dinner time I was wrung out.
My mom likes to call me before the Drs and nurses come by, usually around 8 am or so. I didn't hear from her by 9 and was disappointed but figured I would call her mid-afternoon when it is quieter. My dad calls me around 10 to tell me that she has to get a blood transfusion. Nothing major wrong, but that her blood count was low and that the Drs felt that it would be a good move. For whatever reason, we shouldn't call her and that it would take about 4 hours. He said that he would call me after he spoke to her when it was done. I don't hear from him until 4 pm and they hadn't even started the procedure yet.
I wasn't worried about her health but the utter and absolute need to be with her, to hold her hand, to hug her- I can't put it into words properly but I know that you understand. My mom who resisted going to Drs for *anything*, hates needles and is grossed out by IVs and stuff like that. It took her a really long time to get used to seeing me hooked up to IVs and having a PICC line for 2 years. (My goodness, that seems centuries ago!) She called me a couple hours later, she was halfway through the session and as long as she didn't look at the machine, she was fine. So no idea when she will be released.
The good news is that my FIL was released yesterday. They found that he has atrial fibrillation and put him on meds. He doesn't think that is what is causing him to feel ill so not sure what happens next.
In between all of that, the kids got their diplomas in the mail and that set off my sadness and anger that we *should be* celebrating. (I know-- there are the shoulda's again). On top of all that, Ravyn is not doing well at all. She is sleeping almost all day and when she isn't sleeping she is pacing. She doesn't seem like she is in pain at all, or at least not more than being stiff when she gets up and a bit weak. Cait was saying how just a month ago, she was going on short walks with us and was so darn happy.
That made me think of my first baby and how the last year of her life was like that- a few good days, then a long stretch of not so good. That spiraled me into missing her, the connection I had with her was- well, she was like my soul mate. I LOVE these dogs but I don't have that same connection, she knew when sad and would stay by my side, let me cry into her fur.
And in case you are wondering, yes, I am still very sad. So maybe I should go back behind the sofa again. I am kind of a mess.
I have to go pick up my groceries and thenI am digging in the dirt the rest of the day. I don't even know what weeding needs to be done. Doesn't matter.
I will do some quick personals. I am sorry that I have been such a bummer recently.
It is still not 100% safe for me to come out yet but heck, at least out I am from behind the sofa like I was yesterday.
I had an emotional day yesterday. By dinner time I was wrung out.
My mom likes to call me before the Drs and nurses come by, usually around 8 am or so. I didn't hear from her by 9 and was disappointed but figured I would call her mid-afternoon when it is quieter. My dad calls me around 10 to tell me that she has to get a blood transfusion. Nothing major wrong, but that her blood count was low and that the Drs felt that it would be a good move. For whatever reason, we shouldn't call her and that it would take about 4 hours. He said that he would call me after he spoke to her when it was done. I don't hear from him until 4 pm and they hadn't even started the procedure yet.
I wasn't worried about her health but the utter and absolute need to be with her, to hold her hand, to hug her- I can't put it into words properly but I know that you understand. My mom who resisted going to Drs for *anything*, hates needles and is grossed out by IVs and stuff like that. It took her a really long time to get used to seeing me hooked up to IVs and having a PICC line for 2 years. (My goodness, that seems centuries ago!) She called me a couple hours later, she was halfway through the session and as long as she didn't look at the machine, she was fine. So no idea when she will be released.
The good news is that my FIL was released yesterday. They found that he has atrial fibrillation and put him on meds. He doesn't think that is what is causing him to feel ill so not sure what happens next.
In between all of that, the kids got their diplomas in the mail and that set off my sadness and anger that we *should be* celebrating. (I know-- there are the shoulda's again). On top of all that, Ravyn is not doing well at all. She is sleeping almost all day and when she isn't sleeping she is pacing. She doesn't seem like she is in pain at all, or at least not more than being stiff when she gets up and a bit weak. Cait was saying how just a month ago, she was going on short walks with us and was so darn happy.
That made me think of my first baby and how the last year of her life was like that- a few good days, then a long stretch of not so good. That spiraled me into missing her, the connection I had with her was- well, she was like my soul mate. I LOVE these dogs but I don't have that same connection, she knew when sad and would stay by my side, let me cry into her fur.
And in case you are wondering, yes, I am still very sad. So maybe I should go back behind the sofa again. I am kind of a mess.
I have to go pick up my groceries and thenI am digging in the dirt the rest of the day. I don't even know what weeding needs to be done. Doesn't matter.
I will do some quick personals. I am sorry that I have been such a bummer recently.
