this is a double page I made in february
Here is my journaling
After several weeks of trying, of dipping my toes in but not fully committing, I’ve finally taken the plunge: I signed up for the gym. It feels like a big step—one that carries a mix of excitement, determination, and, if I’m honest, a little bit of apprehension. The road ahead is long. The path to health and fitness isn’t a sprint but a slow, steady climb. And that climb feels daunting at times.
My first check-up with the dietician brought mixed emotions. On paper, the results were actually quite good—fat loss, muscle gain, proof that my body is responding to the dietary changes I’ve been making. And yet, the first thing my eyes went to was the number on the scale. A number that barely moved. A number that, despite all my logic and better judgment, still holds too much power over me.
It’s frustrating how much my mindset still lags behind my progress. I know the scale isn’t the only measure of success. I know that gaining muscle is a good thing, that losing fat is more important than just dropping weight. But after years of conditioning, of seeing progress as a shrinking number, it’s hard to shake the disappointment when that number doesn’t match my expectations.
But I don’t want to be trapped in that thinking anymore. If I focus only on what the scale says, I’ll never see the real victories—how I feel, how I move, how I live. The extra strength, the better sleep, the growing confidence in my own skin. These things matter more than a random number blinking back at me.
So, this is where I am right now. Not perfect, not without doubts, but moving forward anyway. Because this journey isn’t about being the lightest version of myself—it’s about being the healthiest. And I can’t wait to see where that takes me.
