Oscraps

Daily Ooo's: Friday, May 4

faerywings

faerywings

The Loopy-O
CHEERY O
:yield:
I surrender!!! Will life stop throwing :brick: at me? Pleeeeaaaase?? I am so tired and worn down from the constant $@*&*

You probably guessed it- Cait did not get accepted into PCTI and she is devastated. She texted me while I was at work to please come and pick her up, she couldn't bear staying in school. I texted her right back, to go to her Guidance counselor and ask her if we could have a quick mtg. Her GC was so helpful, at least as much as she could be. She didn't know how they decided the cut off for acceptance but knew that Cait was on a wait-list. We are going to try to appeal the decision. (She got one D last marking period when she was re-infected and was really struggling in school, but PCTI wouldn't know that) I am honestly not even sure if that had anything to do with it.

One one hand I am hurting so much for her. She cried on my lap for a half hour yesterday. (That must have looked funny seeing that she is taller than me!!). She feels rejected, big time.
I am angry that she really really really wanted to be in that program and that there might be someone who is just doing it "because." There was no part of the application that asked for an essay or letters of recommendation that might shed insight on why she would be a good candidate for PCTI. I worried about her becasue she always feels like she doesn't fit in and she doesn't want to go to the town HS. Already she is begging for homeschooling which I simply cannot do. Not an option at all. Even if it was physically and financially possible, it still wouldn't be the best choice for her.
I am frustrated that I don't know why or how the decision was made. I am trying to rationalize it in my own head but all I am doing is making the people around who have to listen to me mumble/rant a bit crazed.

Warning: Faery is going to yell for a minute. Feel free to skip over.

Disclaimer: I know in my heart that so many people have it harder then we do, but sometimes ya just gotta yell!!!

:rant:

I am so freaking tired of everything being so hard for my kids. For my family. I don't get it!!!! We are good people, why is everything a struggle???? It is NOT FAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*cleansing breath*

Nope, don't feel any better.:(

One good thing, is that I am working again today. When my mind is like this, my best option is to keep moving. This morning, I was kind of missing my anorexia days. As long as I kept moving, and focused on calories, the bigger shit didn't bother me. Of course I was slowly killing myself in the process, but hey, its all a matter of perspective :pound:

Finish It Friday:
again -> :yield:

Thanks again for letting me rant........ it *will* get better, I know..... just gotta process it and move along.......
 
Chris. wow. i am feeling your pain and rage across the state line to my house. i would absolutely look into the WHY of this. sometimes schools become interested when a student persists out of a passion to go there. i would absolutely not let this end here. ask the guidance counsellor for help on how to do it. ASK the program why and how the decision was made and what Cait can do to get a second look. also, are there other programs like this in the area? i'm thinking that this is a program they start while still in HS. are there programs for what she loves that she could start AFTER HS? this can't be the end of her passion.there HAS to be a way to approach this from another angle. isn't it hard to watch this happen to your Cait? isn't it hard to NOT feel like this is a slight to YOU as well as Cait? well. crap. there has to be another way for her to follow her dream. re: homeschooling, does NJ have cyberschool? PA has a program where kids can be taught at home by certified teachers, and YOU don't have to drive yourself nuts trying to get the teaching thing and curriculum together.

as far as why bad things happen to good people, i have no idea. that question always makes me wonder about The Mind of God and how all that works. yesterday i had some truly terrible news about two friends. i got a phone call from one, the one who just had cancer surgery on Monday, telling me that she has Stage 3 cancer. this happened out of the blue. a little post-menopausal spotting for about a month. another friend is having a breast biposy on something suspicious. i don't know how ANY of this fits into The Mind of God. a test of faith? why would the tests have to be this bad? and so damned RANDOM?

dunno what i'm going to do today except mope around because of the above news. i have a lot of weeds that need pulled outside. maybe i'll have a go at that.

chins up, everybody. or at least give the world a clear-eyed glare.

phylis
 
Chris, that is just heartbreaking. :sorry: Knowing that other people have it worse, doesn't minimize your own pain. It just gives that reassurance that none of of live pain free. Some pain is just more obvious and some people silently suffer. <-- poo on that! Getting it out helps, as most of us here know.

I will play Devil's Advocate here and say maybe this is the time for her to have to face that big bad real world, starting with high school. The idea of retreating from the world to the not-possible escape sounding home schooling makes me think this might be the time that she looks at how she could do her academic work in the hs and not worry so much about fitting in. Is it how she looks? how she worries and is probably ashamed of being 'sick'? (not uncommon thinking but not true, not true!) thinking she might be dumb? etc etc Is cosmetology her real true dream or is it 'just because'?

Now's not the time to think all that through but maybe over the weekend when the tears clear. It sure sounds to me as if some of her choices, and subsequent rejections, might be because she is feeling limited and narrowing her vision. I know it's hard for you to feel much hope with your own family circumstances but Cait needs hope that there is a true, good life out there for her. I believe it.

Lots of love to all of you. Just cry :cry: til you're done crying.
 
you ladies are truly amazing to me......
I am trying to eat my cheerios (ack!! Not that!! LOL) and get ready for work. And your words and understanding and compassion and advice (you too Nana- got your email!) means more to me than you will ever know.

My girl is a lot like me- feels weak, but really is more of a fighter than we give ourselves credit for.


Love you all! And Thank you again.

Gotta get back to my cheerios before they get soggy.

xoxo
 
awwe Chris i am so sorry she didnt get into the program!! hopefully something will change and she'll be able to get in still...good luck on the appeal
 
Ohhh Chris... How devastating for Cait!! But the wise ladies who have posted above me have pretty much said it all!! I know that it seems so unfair sometimes and we wonder why do bad things happen to such good people?? She will survive this and so will you! But keep up the good fight my friend :boxing: and find out what the hell went wrong!!! The squeaky wheel get the grease so they say and if you keep on them they will see that you are serious about an answer!

Phylis - I am sorry to hear about all your bad news today too!! Perhaps if you think about chucking the bad news that you got along with those bad weeds in your garden, things will get a bit better for you today!

Maureen - The next time I need a shoulder to cry on, can I come and visit you? Can Phylis and Chris come too?? How did you ladies get so wise? I know the answer, through personal experience right?? Every one of us has a story don't we!!

Kristy - Hope your day is great!

As for me I agreed to put in an 8 hr shift today, to cover for another girl. Still waiting for the dreaded phone call about BIL. SIL and I were txting to each other and she is so heartbroken! She asked everyone to leave her and her hubby alone and she finally got to sleep through the night in bed with him at Palliative Care. He is off all life support, but he is probably waiting for her to leave so he can slip away. It seems to be that way for so many. It was for my mother, she waited for my sister and I to leave her room and within about 5 minutes after we left she drifted away. Well enough of that!!! Off to the shower and a long day. Try to cheer up everyone!! :hug: :wave:
 
Big Hugs to everyone! Esp. Cait! Things will work out - it always does. I didn't get into the school I wanted either when I was 16 ... but I started at another school ... which led to me moving to a new town, and which eventually led to me meeting my husband. I would never have ended up in his home town if I had gotten into the first school. Just saying: there's a reason for everything ... we can't see it until later.

so ... no more philosophical mumbo jumbo from me ... It's Friday. I just had thai take away. I'm stuffed. I'm happy ... life is great. It's not often, but right now I would really like to have a big cold beer. Not sure ... have to go down and check if I have any non-alcoholic beer at home. (not drinking alcohol because of medication)

Oh, and I just uploaded the page 2 of my 90210 layout:
https://ozone.oscraps.com/gallery/showphoto.php?photo=261261&title=90210-page-2&cat=716 (translation available)
 
Eva, I just noticed the bottom of your signature! :laugh:


Hugs to all of you who have friends and relatives who are critically ill now. There does seem to be a rash of those about, doesn't there?

My friend just told me about her 85 yr old cousin who has had a spot on the brain for years and years but recently it became troublesome, morphing into a tumor. God bless her doctor. My young-at 68 younger than her cousin!- went with the cousin and the dr said, when he operates, if removal would decrease the current quality of her life, he'll just sew he back up and give her the palliative care she needs. No further surgery. I want this DOCTOR!! I'm moving to Morristown/Summit NJ!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top