PaisleePress
alter ego paper
Vinnie Pearce
page masks 01 (catscrap)

journaling:
I learned a harsh lesson this year. Life doesnt stop for heartache. Even when I cant eat for days because devastation is gnawing at my stomach, and I shower twice a day just so I can cry and not admit it, even to myself. I smile and run errands. Say hello to the other moms when I drop my kids off at school. All the while on the inside I am crying/ Sometimes a tear or two will slip past my defenses and I quickly wipe it away and continue on. I fear someone will se this sadness, maybe I even hope they will... but no one sees past the smiles and laughter to what is inside. All I can do reallu is to take comfort in the knowledge that this will pass. Isnt tht the truth? Time heals. There is comfort in that. I have never suffered a loss, didnt even know you could grieve this way unless you lost someone you love. But you can...I am. I am grieving deeply the loss of something essential to me.My life as I knew it. My memories as I knew them.Even the comfort of forgetting for a few hours of sleep has been taken by ruthles nightmares. But, I know...this will pass. I must only endure until that time. There were times when, even married, I was lonely. A time when I didnt know, was in the dark... and ignorance really was bliss. That time has past...but I will keep telling myself, this will pass. Now I just have to believe it.