Today I turned 47.
I am now officially pushing 50!
And I have now lived longer than my mother.
This fact somehow saddens me while at the
same time that also makes me feel relieved.
My mom died of complications related to
kidney disease at just 46 years of age. In fact,
She was buried on my 26th birthday. Of course
I am relieved because having had cancer
fifteen years ago, I have always
had this unsettling feeling
that I, too, would die young.
The age of my mother's death
sort of loomed over me,
that scary number.
Mom was so young,
and missed out on
sooo much -- my sister
growing up, my and my
brother's weddings,
her younger sister's losing
battle with AIDS,
her parents last years,
never seeing 10 of her 13
grandchildren, never seeing the
wonderful adults her five children
have become. So of course I am
relieved to know that I have not
left my children behind as she
did. My sister was about the same
age (14) as my youngest daughter
is now. Just imagine being motherless
at such a vulnerable, tender, emotional age. a time when it is so important
to both bond with and separate
from the most important and
influential woman in your life.
The woman you most want to be
like - and the woman you swear
you won't ever be like! I have lived
long enough to see my oldest daughter married, spend none wonderful
years with my granddaughter, see
my two older sons graduate high
school - things I was always afraid
I would miss. Am I done? No way!!!!!!
So although this was a tough
birthday, I am so thankful to
know that I am pushing 50!!!

Jen U -
Vintage Frames
Natural Wonders Collection Pulling Weeds
NWC Pickin Wildflowers
NWC Blissful Blossoms
NWC Leaves
blossoms, leaves, ferns, flowers buds


Annie Manning PTM Puddles ribbons
ON Designs Kit 14 branches. small leaf, green tag ribbon
Madame Mim Guineveres Tale bg paper (recolored)
Natali Designs Essential flower brooch
New Life Dreams 2 Hearts white roses
Chrisitna Renee Girls Best Friend alpha (50)
Fonts: Pea Olsen, Hurricane (pusHing)