Kitschy Kitchen by Jenn Barrette and Sahlin Studio
Layered Up In You Rounded by Lauren Grier
Font: DJB Smartypants by Darcy Baldwin

Journaling: Ken and I were taking care of a couple things on the to do list, cranberry bars and peanut brittle, while Mom and Jim were delivering Christmas pies. Searching for the recipe, I came across cards from both of my grandmas, and my mom, in their handwriting, recipes that were so much of my childhood. It made me crazy sentimental. It also got me to thinking about my complicated relationship with the kitchen. I understand the impact that cooking can have. I learned to cook as a kid, my grandma taught me. Ill teach my kids, its an important life skill.
I love to eat. So many memories are tied to food, we celebrate with it, every member of my family is notorious for particular dishes. I can go on and on about my moms damn good meatloaf, Grandma
Mikkelsen's popcorn balls and cookies, lemon bars from Grandma Bartolett and really just about everything she makes. I get requests for blue cheese potato salad, carrot cake, cheesecake, guacamole but...
I didnt get the gene. I can cook, Im not even a bad cook, but I really dont enjoy it despite years of trying to learn to like it. My family is easy, no one is a picky eater, my kids are good about trying new things and have always eaten whatever the grown ups eat. I dont mind looking at recipes or watching a cooking show but I dont really get any joy out of the actual process of feeding a family. I try to make it as easy on myself as possible. Im less miserable when I menu plan but I hate the actual planning part too. I want a variety, I hate eating the same things over and over, I want a mostly healthy menu and we need to get the most for our grocery dollar. I hate the mess, I hate the time/reward ratio. I want to find enjoyment in it. I want to be like my Grandma and Michele, Ken and Bobby Flay.
Whine, whine, Whine.
I do feel good when someone likes what I make but I guess its just is not enough for me. Cooking is a necessary chore. Ill never be queen of the kitchen and although it makes me feel a wee bit inadequate now and then, Ive kind of just accepted the fact. I relish when I have the night off and appreciate all the people that love what I loathe.