Oscraps

Tell Me A Joke!

AZK

Queen of the Universe
CHEERY O
I heard on the radio this morning that today is International Joke Day. :D So, come on, let's tell some jokes. Keep it clean, and I will start:

What did one ocean say to the other ocean?
Nothing, it just waved.


Next!
 

faerywings

The Loopy-O
CHEERY O
hahahaha!!!

I wish I could tell jokes. I can't, not even a bit. My kids, especially Scott, are hysterical. Scott can make up jokes on the spot, he can also freestyle "rap" which I can't figure out how he does that. Gary (DH) is good for dad jokes and puns and Caitlyn has a dark sense of humor. I just sit and laugh at them.
If I think of a joke, I will be sure to share
 

tanteva

all i need is Oscraps, cOffee, chOcOlate & tOfu
I love jokes like this - playing with words. But ... I have a very naughty mind ... will take me a while to come up with something clean. LOL

When I was a teen, we had this idea that jokes shouldn't be funny. Everyone came up with jokes where the punchline made absolutely NO sense. Then we laughed like crazy.

Like:
Customer to clerk in store: Do you have any bananas?
Clerk: No
Customer: Ok, that's fine. I have a package holder on my bike.

We could sit for hours just coming up with nonsense.
 

tanteva

all i need is Oscraps, cOffee, chOcOlate & tOfu
Oh - and the tomato joke! Which didn't get REALLY funny until years later when I understood English.

You know - 2 tomatoes are out for a walk, one got hit by a car and the other said "Catch up"

It is a pun in English - but it's completely lost in translation. The way to say "Catch up" in Sweden would be something like "Kom igen" or something, And ketchup is just a straight loan word, we say Ketchup. Still we had the joke, and the tomato said "Kom igen Ketchup, så går vi" (translated to English "Come on Ketchup, let's go"). The joke being that the tomato couldn't walk since it was run over ... the pun totally lost.

Then all of a sudden, when I was a bit over 20 - I heard the joke in English for the first time, and suddenly it WAS funny. LOL
 

AZK

Queen of the Universe
CHEERY O
hahahaha!!!

I wish I could tell jokes. I can't, not even a bit. My kids, especially Scott, are hysterical. Scott can make up jokes on the spot, he can also freestyle "rap" which I can't figure out how he does that. Gary (DH) is good for dad jokes and puns and Caitlyn has a dark sense of humor. I just sit and laugh at them.
If I think of a joke, I will be sure to share

Oh believe me, I didn't think up my joke, I found it online! My own brand of humor tends more towards sarcasm, anyways. :cool:
 

tanteva

all i need is Oscraps, cOffee, chOcOlate & tOfu
I'm really excited for the next autopsy club. It's open Mike night!
 
  • Haha
Reactions: AZK

faerywings

The Loopy-O
CHEERY O
I wish I could have recorded it yesterday, there is absolutely no way I can make this sound funny...
We were talking about brain research and how specific regions of the brain control different abilities. It kind of rolled into a joke about different facial piercings to Tom (DD's boyfriend who is a piercer/tattoo artist). Gary (DH) joked that he wanted one that went from his forehead to the back of his skull. Deadpan, Scott (DS) said that would be called the Phineas Gauge (sic).

I could not breathe I was laughing so hard.
Some notes for those who might not know:
Piercings are measured by gauge
Phineas Gage was one of the first case studies in how brain damage can change a personality- he is the guy that had the piece of railroad go through his frontal lobe, and turned him from a nice guy into an aggressive and angry one
 
  • Like
Reactions: AZK

Cherylndesigns

I'm in The Zone ~ The "O" Zone
CHEERY O
My youngest dd and I speak fluent gif all day. We probably send each other 25 a day. We were doing our daily gif exchanges. They were expecting Tropical Storm Fred and I asked her if they needed a boat. Here was her response.

IMG_5871 (1).GIF
 
Top