well, i've decided that this was a really great theraputic session I've had!! That or I just need more sleep! LOL~!!!

journaling reads:
You know, Dad, I really miss you. Im really tired of you not being here! I know its been seventeen years, but I still miss you terribly. That actually could be a good sign That means you did it right. You were such a fantastic father, that now I have this hole in my heart that I push aside frequently. I probably dont even know its there, really, since my life is so full and blessed. But then something happens; someone says something - usually Emma or Lillian; sometimes Quentin will ask a question about you, and Cora will listen with rapt attention. My children never knew you, but they know your legacy. They know who you were and what you stood for. They know some of your likes and dislikes, and some of your famous phrases...(sorry!!! I just cant stop saying those!!) But the part that gets me is that they never felt your arms, your touch, they never smelled your smell which I can recall to this day!!! They will never feel your handlebar moustache tickle their necks like I did until I was 21. They will never hear you call me Punk like you did even until your last breath. But, Dad, I will tell you that they will know Who it was that you worshipped and served throughout your life. They will know that you would get up early, even though you were a night owl like me, and you would pray and study Gods Word. You wouldnt put up with any falderal (your word!) that someone would give you about anything! You would stand your ground and fight for truth and righteousness. For that, I am thankful. There are some particular words you told me that kept me honest. For that, too, I am thankful. But right now in my life, I am so thankful for the way you treated your wife. I believe because you were true to your beliefs and you loved Mom like Christ loves the church, it enabled Mom to be such a wonderful example of a wife for me. Dont get me wrong, Dad, I know Mom was VERY gracious to you and your craziness (just like me!), but the way you loved her was so precious! And to watch the two of you in love all the way until the end was the most influential example in my life. I have HOPE that I can do it...that I can be the wife I was called to be. And because of you, I can look at Donnie and say, whoa!!! did I hit the jackpot, or what???? I wish you could have known him!! We definitely would be timimg you two to see how long it took to start talking about computers, or music, or politics, or God, or anything you were passionate about. Passion!! Thats what I miss the most, but you know what, Dad? Along with your red hair, I got your passion for life too! And I intend on living life to the fullest! Thanks for that!! I miss you, Dad!

credits:
paper from Sue and Amanda's Thanks+giving kit
a thing of the past clipping mask and template by Taylormade designs

*whew* I made it through!!