This one has taken a LONG TIME! Oh, I'm not comfortable with my journaling!!!! Even now, I think would I really put this into her album. It seems so whiny and pathetic! But it's real and I can't deny how I felt and still feel every time I see this photo.
Journaling reads:
Sophia, your birth was the most incredible moment of my life. Seeing you for the first time was pure joy! I doubt that I could ever find the words to express how absolutely wonderful it was to receive you into my arms. But, little did I know how quickly joy could turn to fear or how difficult your first days would be. Hour after hour, I laid awake watching you, terrified at the thought that you could stop breathing at any moment. And breastfeeding did not begin well. You were a sleepy baby, completely uninterested in what little nourishment I had to offer. We struggled to keep you awake to feed to no avail. It wasnt long before we were told you looked jaundice. A bilirubin test was done to determine if you needed phototherapy. It was excruciating to watch the test being done and I was devestated that I was not able to meet your most basic of needs so I asked the nurse for formula. But you wouldnt drink it either. Three more times you were tested . Each time, the result was just below the requirement and we were told to wait and see what happened. Waiting was unbearable. I was angry, frustrated and exhausted and I cried a lot. I didnt know who to trust, who had your best interest in mind. There were too many opinions and so many contradictions. All I could do was pray. Faithful as He is, your Heavenly Father answered those simple prayers. I renewed my resolve to breastfeed you and the next day, you began phototherapy. Your daddy stayed close to you the whole time, concerned your eye band would slip. Exhausted, I slept for the first time in days. You were under the lights for 24 hours. Slowly, your appetite grew. Your weight improved and we were thrilled when we were finally able to take you home. And we quickly found our way together! (typos fixed on original)
**Yikes, I forgot the credits!
TaylorMade template - Bring it in, Paislee Press pp - Fresh Linen kit