JOURNALING SAYS:
I recently decided that this would be the year that I take back my life from the diseases that have stolen it away from me. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was always shocked when I would catch my reflection. Every time, I would think Thats not me. I felt like the real me was hiding under layers of fat. So I have decided to uncover that person. I know shes still in there somewhere. I am more determined now than Ive ever been in my life. I turn 45 this month and I am determined to look better than I have in years. I think the difference this time is that I can visualize it. I want it so bad I can taste it, and Im ready to do whatever it takes to get there. I have already totally changed the way I eat. I never thought is was possible, but I actually crave vegetables now! I have lost about 15 lbs ( 7 kilos) so far. I work out for at least 45 minutes every other day. Instead of focusing on cardio, like I did before, I focus on weights. I think thats why the fat is falling off so quickly this time. I did a lot of research about getting fit and I found out that thats the way to go. Its not easy by any means! I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue, so I get extra sore and tired, but I keep going until my body says enough already! I have to push myself to exercise, but I do it. The only thing that sort of gets me down a little is that, due to the huge hole in my abdomen as a result of my getting the flesh-eating disease, even if I do eventually get six-pack abs I wont be able to show them off. But I will know theyre there. And the rest of me will look great! I can picture it! I will get there - even if it takes me a year or more!

CREDITS:
Black Paper: from Leap of Faith by Vicki Stegall
Lavender Paper: from Nantucket by Sue Cummings