Journaling:
With Fall approaching, I am filled with questions and emotion. The first being Who am I ? That may seem like a silly question but really for the past six years, I have been Chloes mommy. I even made friends with people mostly because we had kids the same age for playdates. I did everything around nap times, play times and Kindergarten times. I wore mom jeans and comfortable clothes that would let me be on the floor with a baby or toddler or at the park. In fact, its been so long since I picked out real clothes that I have no clue as to what my style is! And it was all worth every single second. But in just a couple of days, my life is about to change rather drastically. You see, I will have entire days to myself. I can wear what I want, work out when I want, actually style my hair, read a book, scrapbook all day, have a bubble bath, form complete, uninterrupted thoughts in my head, eat when I feel hungry and watch a soap opera or two on tv if I feel like it. Sounds pretty decadent, doesnt it? But believe me this newfound freedom doesnt come without its own dose of mommy guilt- Did I play with her enough? Will she miss me too much at lunchtime? How will she cope without all my hugs and I love yous all day? Will the house be too quiet? Will she make friends? How will I fill my time? Should I go back to work? Do I deserve to have all this me time? Sure I had lots of me time before she was born just a short six years ago, but for the life of me, I cant remember at all what I did all day, lol. So here I am, 44 years old rediscovering who I am, again. I have to admit that I am excited to find out.
Anna Aspnes
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