for day thirteen of grow with love: marriage edition
journaling reads: I like to think that usually Im pretty good at owning my mistakes and acknowledging when I have behaved badly, trampled your feelings or just generally been a selfish person. But I know the reality is that sometimes I am prideful and sometimes I hold resentments; sometimes I wound you, sometimes I say things that are not kind. And while I think you know that I dont do these from a place of ill will and that they dont define me or how I feel about you, and most every time I dont intend to act poorly or speak harshly or feel nasty...still, those moments happen. They happen and sometimes I dont tell you I am sorry. Maybe because I feel self-righteous, maybe because I feel guilty, maybe because I am embarrassed, or maybe because I am careless and dont see how or where or why you would feel hurt or angry for what I have said or done. Lately I have prayerfully been striving to be a better lover, friend and wife to you...and one of the things that I have felt conviction for in my heart is: accountability. And so as Im learning how to respect you as Christ would have me do, I feel compelled to tell you -- earnestly and humbly and whole-heartedly -- I am sorry. For all those moments when my words criticized you, when they deflated you or hurt you. For the moments you felt disrespected by my reactions to you or my countenance or tone. For the moments when you felt I didnt trust you because of my questioning or over-expressing my concerns. I apologize for not always keeping the spirit of courtship in our marriage. I am sorry for my preoccupation with selfish pursuits and work sometimes. I am sorry for every time I neglected your needs and focused only on my own. Please forgive me, love. And please know and trust -- always and forever -- no matter how dark and no matter how ugly the valleys we face in our marriage may be, that I believe the power of all the beautiful things: our good will, our history, our values, our passion, our love, our respect, our friendship, our parenthood...those will always shine brighter. Because you are the one I love and admire and respect and look up to and enjoy and care for more than any other.
credits:
Once by Paislee Press
font: Thyromanes
TFL!!
