Oscraps

J

Those Words

  • Media owner JennyJ
  • Date added
For the journaling Challange

Here is the journaling:

Six weeks before my wedding, I ended up in emergency surgery to remove one of my fallopian tubes. It had a large mass on it and had been twisted and was causing extreme pain. In that moment my life changed. We knew having children would be a long hard road. I told Keith he didnt have to marry me, that he could move on and Id never holdout against him. I knew he wanted children, and I felt I had failed him. But he stayed, told me I was crazy to think hed leave, and that wed get through this challenge together. So we were married six weeks later. We tried to have children the old fashioned way. I kept charts, I took my temperature. I stayed in embarrassing positions for extended periods of time to help the swimmers stay put. Nothing worked. We saw a specialist, who found I had even more masses needing to be removed, and I again ended up in surgery. We then tried medications, pills and an injection to help better our chances. Nothing. We tried IUIs-Intra-uterine Insemination, 3 times, with no success. It was getting to be so much for us. Emotional we were hurting, we wanted to be parents so bad. BY this time we had welcomed our first neice, she was perfect, and the longing for a child of our own only grew with getting to know her. We spent nights crying together, and night crying alone. Begging God for a child, promising wed be the best parents. Pleading, I went to bed every night with a heavy heart, longing for a child in my arms. A precious miracle to hold and love and care for. Nothing filled the void. We took the next step, it was to be our last chance. We went to Shady grove to begin the IVF process. I was so scared, no idea what to expect, and afraid of the possibility of it not working, and being left with no child again. In April of 2004, we began the process. Taking pills everyday. Going to get my blood drawn. The drive to the clinic was 2 hours, and I was driving it many times alone, while Keith was working, unable to go with me. Those long drive were just torture for my mind. I began the injections in May, 4 injections a day. I did my best to do them alone, but I was too scared, and Keith helped everyday to get the medication into me. I went for ultrasounds every other day, to ensure the follicles were developing on my ovaries. After weeks of injections, it was time to retrieve the eggs. Another surgery of sorts, I went to sleep and awoke with the news of 19 eggs removed and 11 of them were mature enough to fertilize. So 9 eggs fertilized and 7 continued growing into embryos, these perfect little cells. On May 31, 2004, I went in for another procedure to implant the two best embryos into my uterus. The remaining 5 never made it. So I sat waited for 2 weeks for the news I had longed for for over 5 years. Did it work? Would I be a mother? Would Keith be a Father? The call came. I stood in the living room, shaking with fear. Keith on the other line, listening to what would be our future. Dr. Esposito sounded so calm, it scared me. Then she said those words I had waited for so long to hear. I started crying before she even said them, Jennifer, Youre pregnant.
Congratulations!! My heart is in a twist after reading your story! I had my right fallopian tube removed after two tubal pregnancies in a row. It's hard, but when you have the babies in your arms - they are so worth the effort and heartbreak!
 
Ok I have tears!!! This reaches right into my heart and brings back those same feelings for me! I am so glad that this all worked out for you and you have your two blessings now!!! Thanks for sharing this story. =)
 
N
my gosh. i LOOOOVVVVVVE the way you ended this journaling!! you built it up perfectly. it was like i already knew what the doctor was going to say, but the way you journaled it made me feel like i was standing there in that living room with you... so like you... i was crying even before the words came. SIGH! BEAUTIFULLY done! i'm soooo glad you got this on the record!!!!
 
Goodness this was like a race to the finish ... I couldn't read it fast enough!! Beautifully documented!!
 
:) Awesome, Jenny. Your girls are so worth everything. I can't wait until they are old enough to read this and know how much they were prayed for. (well, maybe we can wait!)
 
OMG I so feel your pain on the praying and begging God for a child. We went through years of infertility and eventually accepted that it wasn't meant to be for us to have a child biologically so we adopted two beautiful little girls and SURPRISE! Last July I found out I was pregnant. I remember the incredible joy when I found out and you've captured that perfectly in this LO! Wonderful keepsake to let your children know how very much they were wanted and loved before they were even born.
 
What a heartfelt beautiful story. I have been so amazed by everyone's journaling. I love your ultrasound picture. This is just wonderful.
 

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